VIP of my life.

Still, i still feel that i can't go on with what i had decided earlier.
i think & think & think, as i was going to get crazy soon.
thank god i have a great mum. she told me something that i will never forget in my life.

"You are not like those who already married to somebody who is bad for years & cannot be changed, or already went out working & get tied to a job that they don't like forever. You still can choose, you are still young. "

"Now you are living in this family. You only need to live for yourself & this family, not other people, not even your boyfriend. So you no need to care about how other people think about you. "

& many more.
My mum suddenly turns into a philosopher. The very first time i feel that my mum is like an angel to me. She cares about me that much but i didn't really notice it before. It's my fault.

She keep on asking me to make my decision only after my exams. But my stupid brain can't stop thinking. I torture myself so much for days, & i feel that i'm going to get sick, either mentally or physically.

But today, i finally make up my mind after my mum told me those words. I feel so blissful in a sudden, i have such a great mum. I cried, without letting her know. I'm touched, that she actually wants me to be happy more than everything.

I decided to change. Although that may spend more money, but i will choose wisely this time, & i swear i will repay my mum & my family when i go to work next time, in the industry that i want of course. I feel that i owe my mum so much, that i can never pay back all the things that she sacrifices for me. The time & money & hope that she wasted on me from almost 2 years, I will pay all of them back to mum with everything that i can do.

I want to say something to the most important person in my life. I love you mum.
Thanks for everything.

I hope my another VIP kif will not jealous of her =3

Perfect choice.

When it comes to the junction that i have to make a choice, i have force myself to choose to continue my current course instead of changing it now. I scared that i may regret in the future, so better i finish it off now.

So i had asked a good friend of mine Cally to accompany for revision for the rest of the 4 semesters... at least i have a companion now who wants to work hard & go for sport together with me =) we had made a deal on that.

Then when after i graduated for this course, i can still go on to take the 2nd degree in my life, with i more preferable with something related to art design like that. Then when i reached my young age of 23, i can have 2 honour degrees, meaning 2 professions !!

With these 2 professions, i can either work in food industry or design company. At least when i have my own family in the future, i can take care of them in terms of providing them with sufficient nutritious & delicious foods, & also a good & comfortable home environment (if i choose to study in interior design in the future). How cool will that be, haha... Thinking in such a way will make myself feel much much better now =)

Kif, i remember what i have promised you, & i will be tough to get through the 4 semesters left in front of me =3

I can never forget the sad eyes of my mum when i confessed my feeling to her days ago... I'm sorry mum, i will try my best to make you proud of me in the future =) just believe me...

Decision.

Regret for thinking of this problem when it's too late to turn back.
Thanks to mum for being so understanding, but i think i will still go on 1st.
Although mum said we still affordable, but i don't think i dare to waste my family's money like that.
Not expensive ok. I will feel damn guilty.
It's my decision at 1st, so maybe i should try to finish it 1st.
At least get a cert for this 1st.
It's just less than half way only. Be strong, min, you can do it !!
even with the worst result of all, at least you tried.

Also thanks to my darling for always so understanding me, giving advices to me whenever i need them & supporting me no matter what i decided. Thank you so so much...

Nightmare + insomnia.

Had 3 days bad dream last week, and 3 days insomnia this week.
what happened to me??

Final exam starts on next Friday.
Get up & study now girl, your result isn't that good enough to pass yet.